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TIME: Almanac 1993
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TIME Almanac 1993.iso
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041591
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0415140.000
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1992-08-28
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LIVING, Page 67The Perils of Being a Lefty
A sinister study shows that right-handers live longer than
southpaws -- but have researchers fingered the right cause?
By JESSE BIRNBAUM
Left-handed people are such a sorry lot. Though they are
a minority (perhaps 10% of the population), no
antidiscrimination laws protect them. They bump elbows with
their partners at the dinner table. They are clumsy with
scissors and wrenches. In a world designed and dominated by
righties, they are condemned to a lifetime of snubs, of fumbling
with gadgets and switches and buttons. Possibly because of a
stressful birth or because the left side of the brain sometimes
doesn't know what the right side is doing, they suffer
disproportionately from migraine headaches and stuttering. Since
lefties also tend to be dyslectic, they are forever going right
when they want to go left, transposing digits when they punch
up phone numbers and, when writing words, getting their letters
all mixed pu.
Now they have something else to worry about. Two
right-handed Ph.D.s, Diane F. Halpern of California State
University and Stanley Coren of the University of British
Columbia, reported in the New England Journal of Medicine last
week that righties live longer than lefties. The researchers
examined the death certificates of 987 men and women in Southern
California and found that the mean age at death was 75 for
right-handed people and 66 for lefties. One reason for this
discrepancy may be that left-handed people seem to be more
susceptible to fatal accidents (7.9% vs. 1.5%), groping, as they
must, through the mirror images of their daily lives.
The California study was quickly attacked by other
researchers, who contended that other factors may be more
relevant, such as illness or poverty. Still, the report cannot
come as a complete surprise to lefties, who have suffered from
superstition and suspicion for centuries. Even the Bible equates
left-handedness with evil, right-handedness with virtue and
godliness. Matthew's parable, for example, tells of the sheep
"on the right hand" that were sent to heaven; the goats were on
the left, so they went to hell.
And it's been hell ever since, aided and abetted by snide,
pejorative language. From Latin comes the disapproving sinister
(on the left, inauspicious) and the flattering dexterous (on the
right, skillful). The Spanish word for left-handed, zurdo, means
malicious. If you are gauche (left) in France, you are tactless
and unsophisticated. Adroit comes from the French a droit (to
the right), and we know what maladroit means -- especially when
we see a left-handed violinist bowing northwest while the rest
of the string section is northeast. A left-handed compliment is
not nice, but a right-hand man is indispensable. If you get up
on the wrong (left) side of the bed, you are grumpy. Even
rwiting about it can give a leftie a migraine.
Still, lefties do not always cede the upper hand. Tennis
players like Martina Nav ratilova and John McEnroe have an
advantage that puts a deadly spin on the ball, and southpaws
from Ty Cobb to Sandy Koufax have always been prized in
baseball. And how about history's Left-Handed Hall of Fame?
Lefty Napoleon! Lefty Picasso! Also such a contemporary
personage as that stunning example of dyslexia in motion, Gerald
Ford.
If you think hard about all those achievers, the news from
California is not so depressing after all. So you die sooner.
So what? Who wants to live forever, rihgt?